Screw It, I’m Done

Meta-blogging. Its bullshit, and it’s what blogger do when they have nothing to say. When they’re phoning it in, you could say. With that in mind, I’m gonna take it to a whole new level. I’m gonna meta-blog the fuck out of this post and write a Project52 blog post about blogging. And Project52. Thats at least two or three, or maybe even as many as four kinds of meta right there. Mind-blowing right?

It all started with this.

I started blogging again, and signed up to participate in Project52 because I thought I had something to say. But you and I both know, with the benefit of hindsight, and an exploration of my archives, that that’s bullshit. Sure, occasionally I might have something that I really just can’t help but write. But most of that is about 5 sentences of meat, and 15 sentences of gristle. And that’s a waste. A waste of your time, and mine.

No more.

Project52 was supposed to be about creating new content. Content that had worth. Content that had meaning. It was a stand against the shitty content that people have been creating. List posts, showcases, entire blogs devoted to pointing you towards other people’s blogs, which in turn were just point you somewhere else.

But for me, Project52 became, quite quickly, a chore. Instead of having something worth writing about, I was writing anything I could to try and satisfy the requirements of the project. I wrote about useless shit, like how I can’t sleep, or smoking cigarettes. I know, fucking pointless right?

It wasn’t just the Project52 stuff that sucked either. It was everything I wrote. Like a list of people I admire. I know, a list post right? Exactly what I was supposed to be a part of stopping. Sure, it had value, to me, and hopefully to the people in the list, but did I need to write it? No, and that’s precisely my point. I was blogging for the sake of blogging.

Which brings me back to Merlin’s essay. Which I have read before, but never let it hit me like it did tonight. I’m part of the problem. I create the shit that nobody wants to read, and as a result nobody really read it. Well, I’m done. For the time being, I’m walking away, unless I have something worth writing.

And you know what the cruelest irony of the whole thing is? I’ll probably have something to write now.